Funny People know everything.

Comedians. They get to stand up and talk about the things we all know deep down inside, yet find hilariously funny. Well, the good ones anyway.

On most stand-up nights its guaranteed that at least one of the acts will have something to say about relationships. Talented ones will deliver the goods and you leave the place with a slight ache in your belly from the laughter and also from the scarey insight and profound understanding of your male/female psyche - depending on the sex of the stand-up. Others will tell you the ones you've heard before like ' You know when a woman says she's fine she's really not and when you ask her what the problem is she goes - the problem is. You don't know what the problem is'. Come one folkes we've heard that one a million times. Half the number of times we've said it ourselves.

As a general rule I bring two things to read on the bus- lazy reading, usually in the form of a handbag sized Glamour/Cosmo/Grazia or London Lite, and proper reading, usually the book that I keep extending my borrowing period in the library that I can't seem to finish. Hang on, I'm getting back to my earlier point... bear with me... So in this month's edition of Glamour is a page titled 'What can Mr FUnny teach you about Mr Right?' I read on with anticipation and am found surprisingly enlightened as I step off and head for my morning chai.

Chris Rock: ' Been dating a guy for four months and not met his friends? Then you are not his girlfriend'

As if not being his girlfriend are the biggest of your worries?! You might just be dating a loser with no friends. Although, in all seriousness, I find this one to be true. I went out with a boy who had his close guy friends (I never heard about them, mind you) but, and get this, my girlfriend introduced me to his mates. Then his brother. Needless to say we broke up eventually..

Jonathan Ross: 'Men and women aren't the same species. It's a wonder we're allowed to breed. For men, sex is everything'

And they say women belong in the kitchen. hah.

Dylan Moran: 'When men are in love its like everything is nothing - tumbleweed'

The caption below this one tells me that men aren't as emotionally articulate as women who rationalise their feelings and so the man is left to bottle everything up and is swept away. Okay, someone tell me that I'm not the only one who can see the flaw in this one? When was the last time you were ever 'rationally' in love with anyone? That's beside the point though. Still, I don't believe this one to be true. I've met blokes who were utterly fluent in the language of lurve. Granted, articulating with diamonds never hurt a gal. *wink wink*

Frank Skinner: 'I don't think its possible to be friends with a person once you've seen their genitals'

This one made me giggle and smile at the poker faced eastern european lady sat next to me who either blinked or sneezed, I'm sill unsure. Being friends with an ex is an anomaly if a little dangerous. Generally we stay away from our exes as best possible. Whether it had to do with the reason why you dumped the person in the first place or the memory of their privates, its up to you.

Maybe its time us women folk sat up and listened to the other half of the species for once. Even when it seems like they're just kidding xxw